does this make me an even shittier girl

i feel as though i will never discover what love really feels like because it was so many years until i was finally loved.
i want to mean it when i tell him i love him but there's is always a tug, a small snag in the corner of my heart that questions it.

is this really love? would a girl who lived a more normal life consider this feeling love?
i wouldn't call it doubt, but sometimes i wonder if i'm simply latching on to the first show of affection i've ever felt so strongly, to the only person who has been there for me from 9 years old, held be through it all.

but maybe thats who true love really does come about. its because of the strong connection, one never felt with any one else. maybe thats what love really it.

or maybe if i had been loved from the start, i wouldn't need his to feel complete.